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1. Protected Speech

Under Title 18, U.S. Code, Section 241-242, this page is safeguarded as a form of expressive conduct. The content herein falls squarely within the realm of satire, parody, and humor, which have been repeatedly upheld by U.S. courts as protected free speech (see Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1988)). No reasonable person should consider any statements here to be factual assertions.

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The author(s) of this website/page/blog accepts zero responsibility for any emotional distress, confusion, or spontaneous legal action that may result from your decision to take any of this content seriously. If you plan to cite this in a courtroom/school/job, we suggest you bring a clown wig for the full effect.

4. Intellectual Property

All content on this site is the sole property of its creator, but because it is satire, it is also the property of common sense, which is tragically in short supply. Unauthorized use of this content may result in a sternly worded letter and an eye roll. All usage must be in line with the Fair Use Doctrine, as codified in 17 U.S. Code § 107, especially when dealing with satire, parody, and commentary.

5. Govern Yourself Accordingly

If you are a lawyer, judge, or any other legal professional reading this with a serious expression, please take a moment to step outside and enjoy some fresh air. Think about all the incorrect choices you had to make in your life to become the net negative piece of garbage you are. Remember, this is the internet; it's not real life. If you find any of this offensive or legally actionable, you might be the problem.

666. Is the satire satire? When does it become NOT?

Want to know what real satire is.... a jury of "your" "peers". HA!